Monday, August 27, 2012

Ayah

Tiada mampu kuungkapkan betapa besar kerinduanku padamu
sosokmu setiap malam selalu bijaksana menyemangati diriku
betapapun sakitnya dirimu akan ulahku
kau tetap membanggakanku dimanapun itu

Ayah..
aku berdiri di sini untukmu
aku bertahan di sini karenamu
aku berjuang di sini untukmu
aku ada di sini karenamu

saat kulihat punggung ayah
berbalut pakaian kusam warnanya
diantara orang-orang gagah
berbalut pakaian mewahnya

ayah tampak sangat tua
namun beban yang dipikulnya tak kunjung reda
semakin bertambah umurnya
semakin nampak betapa kerasnya ayah bekerja

ingin kulambaikan tanganku
kuteriakkan dengan lantang namamu
Kukenalkan pada semua orang
engkaulah sosok yang sangat kubanggakan

ayah yang seumur-umur selalu bekerja
tak kenal lelah meski beranjak tua
ingin kupersembahkan kepadanya
sebuah hadiah yang tak seberapa
untuk menunjukkan kecintaanku padanya

aku ingin melihatmu tampil di panggung wisudaku
tersenyum dengan bangga
mengenakan jas kebanggaanmu
dengan segala beban yang telah tiada
kini giliranku membahagiakanmu
terima kasih ayah atas segalanya


Sunday, August 12, 2012

Write My Heart

My life is almost miserable
No one knows myself
Those two are the only ones who listen to my heart content
Even though they know me well, they aren't told at all about me
I don't have siblings
I don't know to behave when face senior or junior
I am ALONE
I just accept that
All ALONE
No sms from my old friends
Thinking that I realize something
They never remember my existance
Other words, they don't need me
Whether I'm there or not, it doesn't matter
I am not needed
to fill a tiny hole in their heart
I am just being a lost memory to everyone
No one ever try to understand me
Although  I try so hard to understand them
No one ever hold my hand tight
No one ever wait for me
I am always left behind
No one ever
I don't like to be left behind
But I like to be the last to walk
Because from behind, I can see everyone's smile
I want to protect their smile
Even if I must be a lost person
But no one ever understand that
I won't tell
Because I don't want to seek for a pity
I just want to solve my problem alone
I don't want to be a beggar
Because everyone have their own burden
So, the silent is me
Conquer myself for my entire life till now
I fight with my silent
But it wins every time
I lose to the silent
It completely controls me
I want to accept this
But I am struggling, looking people
I never be able to free myself

(I don't like this writing. But it's what I think so hard. This is why I try to forgive myself for thinking like this.
Thinking like this makes me more miserable T.T)